Frustrating Interviews
by Kittystar loves Pusheen
Summary: In the newest tv show, people are randomly chosen to be interviewed live. But, they are asked embarrassing questions and rumors! Laugh out loud and join the fun! There may be slight romance!
1. Effie

Chapter 1- Effie

**Welcome to yet another one of my funny concoctions! These interviews are just freak out the silly people in the capitol, and to make you laugh! Review please! **

Effie looked around at her surroundings. She was sitting in a mahogany chair in the middle of a dark grey room. The walls were bare and the lack of color and decoration made her fidget.

"Welcome to Frustrating Interviews!" A booming voice made her jump. "I'm your host, Lilac Bernese! Out guest for today is Effie Trinket!" Effie looked around wildly and spotted a camera. She was being filmed!

"Now, let's get on with the questions!" Lilac exclaimed. Somewhere, a sound of papers shuffling could be heard. Effie's heart pounded, but she remembered her manners.

"Effie, my first question for you is: Is it true that you would give up ANYTHING for manners?" The Capitol woman was outraged at the question.

"Why, that is not true! Who is spreading these ridi-" Effie was interrupted by Lilac as she went on with the next question.

"Do you like watching kids die in the Hunger Games?"

"Well, it's not like that. I just know that it is for their bene-"

"So you like their gory deaths and you enjoy it?"

"I-you see- manners!"

"I will take that as a yes. Now for the last question."

Effie Trincket looked wary. The last question obviously would be the most embarrassing.

"Do you have a crush on Haymitch?"

"What could EVER make you think that?" Effie spluttered, blushing. "I think nothing of that drunkard!"

"Well, that's all the time we have folks! Join us next time on Frustrating Interviews!"


	2. Cato

Chapter 2- Cato

**This story is one of my best Hunger Games stories I have written! I will totly keep writing this! Updates will be pretty quick! Sorry if Cato is a bit OOC.**

Cato fidgeted in his chair. It was a foldable metal one with crayon markings on it. He didn't show it on his face, but the career was nervous. He had no idea what was happening.

"Welcome to another episode of Frustrating Interviews! I'm your host, Lilac Bermese. Our guest today is Cato!" Cato thought his heart would leap out of his chest. The booming voice had scared him. He fought to stay calm and put a neutral expression on his face.

"Our first question is: Why do you hate Katniss Everdeen's guts?" Lilac asked cheerily, which was creepy sonce she was asking the type of question that included 'hate' issues.

"Uhh-well-" Cato stammered.

"Interesting, interesting."

"No, wait!"

"Don't worry. Next question is now!"

"But-"

"Do you want to marry Clove?"

"What?" Cato was dumbstruck by the question.

"I said, 'DO YOU WANT TO MARRY CLOVE?" Lilac shouted.

"..."

"Okay. Final question! If you could, would you kill President Snow, Buttercup, or Marvel?"

"Who is Buttercup?" Cato asked, flustered.

"A cat." Lilac sighed, annoyed by the question.

"Oh. Um, I guess Marvel."

"Well, that's all the time we have folks! See you next time on Frustrating Interviews!"


	3. Octavia

Chapter 3- Octavia

**Three updates in one go? Ca-ra-zee! Hehehe. Anyway, I am having fun writing these. Uh, ahem. Don't forget to review! *Looks at review box for no apparent reason***

Octavia ignored the dull grey room she was in. She was bored that she was in there and hoped that she would be let out soon. She didn't want to be late for her skin therapy and eyelash feathering.

"Welcome to another episode of Frustrating Interviews! I'm your host, Lilac Bermese. Our guest today is Octavia!" Lilac's voice boomed over the speakers. Octavia nearly fell out of her chair in surprise. Quickly, she straightened herself and looked around for the noise.

"Now, let's get on with the first question: Do you have a special love for pink?"

"Huh?" The stylist asked, bewildered.

"Really? Amazing! Do you have a fear of starvation?"

"Y-y-y-y-y-yes." Octavia's knees shook with fear and her voice was barely a whisper.

"Ahhh, I see. Who do you like? Flavius?"

Octavia blushed at the comment. "No. Not at all!" She blushed again and looked at her feet with intense interest.

"Now for the final question! Do you want a rebellion?"

"Umm..." The stylist tapped her chin, unsure of what to say.

"Well, that's all the time we have!" Lilac inturrupted. "See you next time on Frustrated Interviews!"


	4. Haymitch

Chapter 4- Haymitch

**I had fun writing this one. Especially since Haymitch was drunk! Now, laugh along with me and *Cough* Review! *Cough***

Haymitch didn't know where his drink went, but he did feel quite happy and groggy. He looked around, dazed.

"Welcome to another episode of Frustrating Interviews! I'm your host, Lilac Bermese. Today our guest is Haymitch!" Haymitch looked up and giggled like a little child.

"Dofarblegurr..." He muttered lazily.

"Ok. My first question is: What is your favorite alcohol?"

"Well. I thinker gonna haveto lookat thebottle." He answered, slurring his words.

"Wow! Amazing!"

"Huh? Wha-?"

"Do you like anyone in particular?"

"YeahKatniss. She'sa greata fighter."

"No, I mean, _like _like."

"Uhno. Ithink Effie doesthough-" Then he passed out, because for the whole time, he had been drinking.

"Well, that is all the time we have today folks! See you next time on Frustrating Interviews!"


	5. Avox girl

Chapter 5- Avox girl

**Sorry if this chapter isn't TOO funny. I wanted to see what would happen with an Avox. Thank you Max Saturday burns toasters and Dilaner234 for your reviews!**

The Avox girl sat in a soft, plush couch that had a tiny stain, probably from coffee. She looked around at the grey walls. Was President Snow punishing her for the whoopee cushion that she had forgotten to remove from his seat?

"Welcome to yet another episode of Frustrating Interviews! I'm your host, Lilac Bernese, and today our guest is and Avox girl!" The host's voice boomed out of a loudspeaker. The Avox jumped slightly but kept her calm. She was relieved that it was just a television show.

"So, my first question for today is: What is your name?"

"..."

"Wow, just amazing! Do you want to meet Katniss again?"

"..."

"Interesting... What would eat; Pizza, cake, or chocolate?"

"..."

"Great answer! Well, that's all the time we have today! See you next time on Frustrating Interviews!"


	6. Buttercup

Chapter 6- Buttercup

**Oh no, what will happen with Buttercup? This was asked for by Max Saturday burns toasters. Enjoy!**

Buttercup was in the middle of washing himself when he realized that he was on a different cat bed. He looked around and then went back to washing himself.

"Welcome to another episode of Frustrating Interviews! I'm your host, Lilac Bernese, and our guest today is Buttercup!" Lilac's voice boomed. Buttercup didn't even look up.

"Now for my first question: Do you like Katniss?"

"Mew Meow Mewmew"

"Um, yes, ok. What is your favorite food?"

"Mrow mewmewmeow mew mewo mrow"

"I love that too! Do you like goats?"

"Mew"

"Of course! Is cheese a favorite food of yours?"

"Mrowmew meow mew"

"Really? Wow!"

"Meow Meowmeow"

"No, I am asking the questions!"

"Mrowmeowmew"

"Are the rumors true that you have a crush on Tigris?"

"MEOW MEOW MEW MROW HISSSSSSSS"

"Okay, okay. I see that is a sensitive topic for you."

"Meow"

"Yes you are right. That's all of the time we have today! See you next time on Frustrating Interviews!"


	7. Katniss

Chapter 7- Katniss

**Katniss is here! I think this might be a good one! Yay for me updating twice! Now, read on!**

Katniss was sitting on a plush pink chair. She looked around, her eyes narrowed. Where was Peeta? Where was her house?

"Welcome to another episode of Frustrating Interviews! I'm your host, Lilac Bermese, and today our guest is Katniss!" Katniss jumped slightly and looked around. She saw a camera and sighed. She hated interviews.

"My first question is: Why did you choose the bow and arrows as your weapon?"

"It wasn't a choice." Katniss growled. "I had to survive. I couldn't without the bow."

"Mhmm. Ok. Who do you like better; Peeta or Gale?"

Katniss pulled out her bow and arrows and shot at the camera, shattering the glass.

"What the heck? Katniss!? Someone get in here to replace the camera!"

Katniss sat back and smiled. After about a half hour delay, Lilac finally was able to ask more questions. "So, Katniss. Do you like President Snow, President Coin, or Cato better?"

"Hmm. I hate both presidents but I also hate Cato... I guess Cato better since he was being controlled by Snow and Coin killed my sister."

"Interesting. Is your sister the most important person in the world?"

Katniss pulled out three grenades and launched them at the camera. After that, she used her explosive arrows and shot them everywhere.

"AAAHHHH! THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER! SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON FRUSTRATING INTERVIEWS!"


	8. Tracker Jacker

Chapter 8- A tracker jacker

**Thank you everyone for your reviews! It means so much for me! This was suggested by gkmoberg1. You can, if you want, send in suggestions for who you want to be interviewed! **

It took a moment for the tracker jacker to realize that it wasn't in the forest anymore. It buzzed and decided that whoever had taken it would pay by being stung.

"Welcome to another episode of Frustrating Interviews! I'm your host, Lilac Bermese, and today our guest is a tracker jacker!" The tracker jacker buzzed angrily and had been startled.

"Now for my first question: How did you get here? In this room?"

"Bzzzzzzz"

"Of course, we took you here!"

"BZZZZZZZZZ"

"What do you mean, 'You are victoriou-YOW!" Somehow, the wasp-like creature had managed to get into the room that Lilac was in. In the background, you could hear her screaming and yelping in pain.

"WAIT HOLD ON- OUCH! THIS IS _MY _SHOW YOU BUG! OW!"

"BZZZZZZ"

* * *

In district 12...

Katniss stared at the screen. "Wow. Just, wow." She stated. Peeta was sitting with her and he chuckled.

"I guess that's what happens when you take a tracker jacker!"

* * *

"THAT IS ALL THE-OW- TIME WE HAVE SEE YOU-OW- NEXT TIME ON-OW-FRUSTRATING INTERVIEWS!"


	9. Finnick

Chapter 9- Finnick

**Yet again, I am updating. This was suggested by PrincessRue11. I love this story! R, R, and R! (Read, review, and request)**

Finnick sighed and leaned back in his chair made of kelp and seaweed. He was slightly excited since he was on his favorite television show, but he still didn't like that Lilac or whoever had designed the chair had exaggerated his love of water.

"Welcome to another episode of-oh whatever. Today our guest is Finnick!" Lilac's voice boomed. After she said that, she made a fangirl squeal. Finnick had been used to her voice while watching the show, so he wasn't scared.

"My first question for you is: WILL YOU MARRY ME?!"

"Uh, no. I am married already."_  
_

"WHY CRUEL WORLD?! WHY!? Is Haymitch a drunkard?"

"Why are you asking me tha-"

"I'M THE ONE ASKING THE QUESTIONS! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST LET ME DO MY JOB!"

"Ok."

"Do you have a fan club?"

"Not that I know of-"

"WHAT!? I AM STARTING ONE WHEN I FINISH THIS INTERVIEW!"

"Why are you-"

"THAT'S IT! I QUIT!" Murmuring could be heard in the background and then a deep voice was heard over the microphone.

"This has been the end of Finnick's interview. Please tune in for more episodes later." After that, more murmuring was heard.


End file.
